Evolution: Saying Goodbye to BlaQ

*This is not an #AprilFools joke*

"Free your mind & the rest will follow..."

I'm evolving into someone that I've always wanted to be. Part of that process is embracing the things that make me who I am & fully celebrate them.

So, with embracing who I am, I will be closing this blog to future posts. I'm not getting rid of the site because I'm proud of everything on here & proud of all the people I've met. I'll be around... evolving.

Peace & Love.

B. Daisy

by the way, this isn't a sad thing... i'll let you know where this new thing (the evolution) ends up... 

The Devil I Do Know...

I'm in a TRAP.

Not the poverty/neighborhood trap but the sort of trap that qualifies itself as a mental prison.

It's like groundhog's day (the movie, not the animal), repeating the same pattern of behavior over and over again until I can eloquently discuss the trap but I can't eloquently release myself from the cycle.

Have you ever heard the expression "better the devil you know than the devil you don't"?

No? Well, let me explain.

Sometimes, life gives us a reference. & by reference, I mean, something we've experienced in the past to compare experiences in the future. Most of us have male/female references for relationships. People who begin to exhibit similar behavior to a reference shall be compared to that reference. New people = new experiences? The brain raises red flags, ignore if you want... often at your own detriment.

However, that's not my trap.

My trap-- my cycle leaves me longing for the devil that I know very well. The failures of the present & possibly the future gives my brain the audacity to reflect on a bad situation & say "I'd rather deal with that... than deal with this".

It's the devil I do know that made me feel so good but also made me feel so bad. It's the devil I do know that I dream about only when I'm lonely... The devil, indeed.

Logically, this should be an easy decision. Plot the situation out on the graph paper of good & he falls in that double negative quadrant (in the lower left-hand side). Logically, the thoughts should be gone, right? [Love Jones quote] "Physics, the shit ain't. It ain't suppose to make sense..."

I'm in a trap. In a cycle. Longing for something bad when something bad feels so good. 

Don't worry. These are just feelings - feelings that can be overruled by circumstance and reason.

Still, sometimes... the devil I do know infiltrates my dreams... only when I'm lonely.

Bigger Than Me: Thanking God for Angels

Swim Good - Frank Ocean

My life takes different twists and turns. The decisions I make send me down dead-end roads, circular paths, and rocky terrain. But somehow, they all lead me back to this strong sense of purpose that I've felt pulling me for years. I believe that #reverb11 was so helpful in allowing me to articulate the goals that I have for my future, & sometimes even with articulation, those things can get out of focus.

So here I am, again... focusing on purpose. Focusing on my people. Focusing on helping & being transparent in the process.

I thank God for angels. I truly do. And even though I despise my location right now, I see how God has put me in a situation to be of "use" to some people that I've met here.

I was having a really bad day last week... feeling kind of lost. I checked my work email & found the following....

Sorry this is a late response, I will not be returning this semester. I was very much looking forward to class time with you. I know you may not see it, but you are a wonderful teacher & I am disappointed that I will not have the opportunity to take your class again. 


You are an honest and caring kind of person to those around you. I had an awesome time with you while I did. Hope all goes well with the ending of the school year & may your path be clear and full of reward in your next journey!


God sends you angels & little tidbits of hope just when you need them... My life is bigger than me. My purpose is larger than I can imagine. Now, it's time to fulfill and be fulfilled.

& try my best not to screw up this thing called life.

peace & love


Rest in Peace, young man... #TrayvonMartin

Through the Eyes of a Writer (Repost)

*Repost*

I feel like my world should always feature warms days and warm nights. If life were the way it was meant to be, I'd see water and beaches and people just like me. I'd love on laughter and eat on happiness. I'd hug on joy and kiss on sex. If it just keeps flowing, I can speak through my pencil and say all the things that I let pass through my mind; never willing to speak what's on my mind. Thus, not willing to speak what's on my heart. I'd say things like "What the fuck you talking about, homie?" Rather than just cutting a glance with these big brown eyes. But is it more admirable that I am able to keep myself from alienating myself because who wants to hear the truth according to Daisy, huh? But you know that laughter you see buried deep in my eyes? Ask me to tell you the joke and hope that it's not about you. I find humor in my surroundings, a free comedy show MC'd by God. I take in art & beauty in everything I see. It's a gift to slow myself down and see what God sees. The world suddenly becomes real and I'm no longer a passerby. Can you see it in my eyes? Don't worry, I'll show you..

Dancer's Dream: A Short

I dreamed of you taking me in your arms. Holding me close to you, guiding me around my bedroom. I felt your warmth. I smelled your cologne, as the piano fused with our movement. Azure - humming from your lips, eyes closed, intense listening. The music speaks to you and you.move.me.

In a dream we floated away. Lost in the music. Lost in each other. Breathing in sync, heartbeats as one. My head rests on your chest, your hands cradle my hips. In the clouds, we made love with our movement. In each other's arms, drifting away. In a dancer's dream.